The journey of our lives is a unique dichotomy. It is filled with times of weakness and times of strength. Days of sadness and days of joy. Moments drenched in tears and moments loud with laughter, and days clouded over in darkness or filled with light. Our circumstances may tumble us into seasons of chaos or despair. We have a choice to allow those times to crumble us, or we can choose to rise up above those situations that can pull us down.

Seven years ago today, our first born daughter was still born. What was to be a day overflowing with joy and a celebration of new life, immediately turned into a day where a veil of darkness overtook our hearts. My husband and I endured feelings, emotions, and questions we never expected to encounter in our life. There is so much I could write about that we experienced over those days, months, and now years. This year as I reflected on what happened seven years ago, I couldn’t help but think about the light. When I reference the light, I am talking about Jesus and how He carried us through so much devastation.

When we experience dark days in life, we have a choice to where we steer our focus. We can allow ourselves to be overwhelmed in the darkness of despair, or we can shift our focus to the light. I remember driving home from the hospital with an empty infant seat in the back of our car. We felt empty, drained and absolutely devastated. While driving we followed the curve of the road that is at the top of a hill, before it descends across a ravine- we were amazed at how the sun was shining over us. We both had tears in our eyes from all we went through that day, yet we were both struck at the sun. It appeared saturated in its colour, yet glowing with warm comfort. There are no words for me to describe how I felt as I gazed at it. As if God was directing us to look at it, because it looked different to us that evening. In that moment, the vision of the sun was a reminder to me to keep my eyes on the light. There were definitive times of grief when the darkness almost got me. I was at the end of my rope, ready to give up on all I knew in life – then one basic question resounded in my mind – do I still believe there is light? That was when my focus became clear, my focus to stay fixed on the light. It gave me strength to climb out.

There are times when the light becomes very dim, simply because dark situations are enclosing around us. In those moments our focus can become blurred by doubts, anger and fear. Even if the light becomes the smallest pinpoint at the end of a very dark tunnel, we can set our gaze on it. Eventually the light will take over the darkness. When I could see the smallest little glimmer of light, it reminded me that hope still exists – that I just had to keep going – one foot in front of the other – day by day and eventually that flicker of light would encompass me in warmth, comfort, and security again.

It is no mistake that our other daughters have names that reflect God’s grace and hope in our lives after our treacherous journey. Our second daughters name means ‘star’ and our third daughters name means ‘light.’ They are a sweet reminder to me that if you keep going, it may be long, it may take the most courage you have ever had to muster up – when you keep your gaze focused on the light – you can overcome your fears and have joy and peace again. As you walk through whatever wilderness is upon you, remember to fix that gaze on the light – the light is what will get you through the darkest of journeys. The light is hope, and that hope will give you true life!

∼live your journey true∼

What do we do when everything seems to be spinning out of control? Fear, confusion, and depression can often overwhelm our lives. Whether it be personal decisions, family drama, world events, or life changes- life can so quickly spin off sync. The simple conclusion that grounds me is to fix my eyes on what I know- Jesus. It is difficult to know the answers to so many life questions. All I can trust is that He knows. Maybe you have never had an encounter with Jesus- every day you take a breath, you have an opportunity to fix your eyes on Him and see what happens. When everything is turning upside down and I feel like I need answers, I fix my eyes on Jesus. In this crazy world that recently feels as though it is falling apart, I fix my eyes on Jesus. He brings the comfort, peace, and direction I need on this journey.

∼live your journey true∼

When I married my husband I relenquished the words I & me and traded it for us. In a world full of self serving choices, love isn’t about serving yourself. Love is about serving your other half and beyond that relationship love is about serving others. It doesn’t mean that we never allow each other some ‘me’ time. Having ‘me’ time is healthy and important, it aids in our self care. What an ‘us’ mentality means, is that the decisions we make in life have to do with ‘us’ not only ‘me’. Having kids, where we live, our jobs, our lifestyle choices, our core beliefs, our finances, and beyond are made with ‘us’ in mind.

When you participate in a committed relationship, all the decisions made will directly or indirectly affect each partner. If we live in relationships with a self serving attitude, we are putting our partners below us without considering how our actions will translate in our mates life. When we turn around our selfish decisions into thoughtful considerations that will benefit both, we experience the true beauty and fulfilment that a relationship can bring. This attitude in a relationship does not go without saying that there is some give and take. There are times when one partner has to sacrifice something for the other person. The practice that must take place is that it goes both ways. One participant in the relationship cannot hog all the focus. Sacrificing is required by both at different times in life. The ebb and flow of giving and taking creates fulfilment for both people in the relationship, it is an expression of love.

Yesterday my husband and I celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary. I am overjoyed to feel deeper in love, respect, friendship, partnership, and fulfillment than when we first got married. The road has had its challenges, but we have been successful in our marriage because we were able to recognize selfish decisions and put a stop to them. We have been able to turn around the ‘me’ moments into ‘us’ moments. Those are the decisions that have given us a marriage of fulfilment and fun. I can only pray and be intentional as the future unfolds, to commit myself to decisions and choices that involve us. Happy Anniversary to my one true love❤️

~live your journey true~

I am about to hit a milestone in motherhood- the end of diapers. Yes, it is true, I have been up to my eyeballs in diapers for the last four years of my life. Three of the those four years, included two children in diapers at the same time. It is a time of passage for my daughters to go from infancy to preschool. A time of change from giving bare basic care to my girls and moving toward one more step of independence. The diaper changing years have been somewhat of a learning curve for me. Learning to be ok with doing simple tasks and feeling that those actions serve a purpose. I have always been an individual who feels that there is grand purpose to our lives and on a search to find what that big thing is. Our society can carve our idea of purpose to blown up proportions. That in order to have purpose, it must be something that the world around us has to see or know about. My recent learning curve has taught me that there is immense purpose in the simple tasks that happen behind closed doors, day in and day out.

For every mom out there who is knee deep in the infant/toddler years, what you are doing this very moment- messy bun in hair, yoga pants on, load after load of laundry, scrubbing vomit out of your carpet, changing diaper after diaper (no joke, there were mornings I had changed six diapers before 9:00am), and that mundane routine of feedings- you are fulfilling the greatest purpose and calling you were meant to live! For much of our purpose has nothing to do with personal fulfillment, yet has everything to do with serving others- even though society may teach you otherwise.

You may not feel like yourself, your temper may be shorter, your patience tested, your brain not stimulated enough. Motherhood may have taken you from corporate meetings to play dates. It may have taken you from high fashion to nursing bras and stretchy pants. Having babies may have taken you from using your degree on a daily basis in your career to developing a degree in self-preservation, because there are days that you are truly just trying to survive the lack of sleep. At the end of the day, once you finally have your little ones settled, know that the hours you just put in doing all those redundant tasks, just gave another day of life to that tiny person sleeping in the room next to you.

The mundane can feel like it will never end, but it does, quicker than we all think. All of the sudden, your babies no longer rely on you for those duties that give them life for another day. They become more independent, and we regain some of our brain back! All those simple things add to a greater calling of purpose than we really comprehend.

I began this post with a picture of some beautiful flowers, I thought a pile of diapers was overkill! I chose flowers for their purpose in nature. The day to day life of a flower is quite simple. Yes, they look beautiful, and produce tantalizing scents, but a flower just sits there. People easily pass by flowers on their walk to work, not taking any time to stop and appreciate what they do for the environment we live in. Though a flower so delicate and simple day to day, in the larger scheme provides the movement of reproduction between plants. Plants, in turn provide a backbone to the earths ecosystem. Water, air, food, medicine, and more thrive from the plant. So that little flower you pass by that just sits there, is part of chain that gives you oxygen to breath everyday.

So next time you are engaging in a daily task, that feels like it has no purpose, remember that everything works together for a greater purpose than you can ever fathom. There is great purpose in the simple, every single day of our lives.

∼live your journey true∼

it takes one step at a time to walk through your journey

one foot in front of the other, even if you drag it

walking a path that others dare not attempt

every ounce of courage you put forward

every drip of sweat

and the millions of tears that drench your cheeks

all the hard work you put your heart and mind to

the effort you muster up to get through each challenge

one day, it will all pay off

for what was once a hope in the far off distance, will become your reality

keep going

∼live your journey true∼

Have you ever been going on your daily habits and had a light bulb moment? A moment when it just clicks in your mind that this routine is not benefiting you in any way. For years I have had a habit of checking the world news a couple times a day on my devices. Then it suddenly jolted my mind- how much time I waste reading about the fear mongering portrayal of events that occur in the media. It brings me down, not up. I see the importance of having a well informed mind in world and current events- in order to take positive action. Yet, the majority of the time, mainstream news is really just a bunch of garbage. So it’s time for me to cut loose my habitual ‘need to know’ attitude toward world news. It’s time to not waste time reading negative stories, and instead do something more productive or read more positive outlets.

What habits do you have that need to be cut loose? More often than not, we miss recognizing the negative effects those routines have over our minds. Living our journey true requires making one small step at a time towards positive change. Cutting loose the negative habits in our lives is one step closer to that positive change.

∼live your journey true∼