I have been blessed with two lovely daughters. It is a parenting mission for me to set an example to them of what makes a person truly beautiful. Over the years, there is something I’ve noticed in myself and others that reflects what is inside your heart. It has much to do with what concerns a person. What we are concerned about all the time, or what we worry about, can reveal the true colours of our character more than we realize. I have seen very attractive woman sit around and speak very ugly words about other women. Some women that the world may view as not worthy of a magazine cover, have been proven to have beauty and confidence that I admire deeply. It can all go vice versa as well. The bottom line is that no matter what we look like, what comes out of our heart and our mouths can really reveal the truth about who we are.

If we over concern ourselves with how we look all the time, what is that reflecting to everyone around us. A common comment I have heard is “I would never wear a bikini.” When asked why, the response has been, “I have too much pride,” or “I don’t have body for one.” Those responses concern me- it is a window into someone’s soul of insecurity. There seems to be an unruly amount of expectation on women to look like a fitness model in order for it to be “okay” for the them to wear a bikini in our culture. True beauty means having true confidence in who you are inside, not being concerned with how you look in a bikini. Confidence has zero to do with you having too much pride to bear your imperfections in a bikini. Confidence has everything to do with owning your imperfections in whatever you wear, including a bikini if you want to.

Having confidence is not a right of passage to display ourselves in an inappropriate way- there is still a time and place for everything. There is balance to it all. What is important is our attitude toward ourselves, and toward others. Fat shaming, skinny shaming, bullying, low self esteem is all coming from an ugly part of the heart. I’m not interested at all in teaching my girls that it’s okay to think lowly upon themselves or others for how they look. It should not be the place we concentrate our concerns.  We all have a responsibility to take care of our bodies. Hopefully we can encourage each other in a healthy lifestyle with balance, without criticism and judgement.

So if you are more comfortable in a bikini, bearing your stretch marks and mommy tummy, then do it knowing that your confidence comes from within.

If you are more comfortable in a parka at the beach because you don’t want the world to see your body- then do it, but don’t shame someone else for having confidence to do something you lack self esteem in.

As woman we should concern ourselves with building and encouraging healthy confidence and self esteem. That is true beauty. Concerning ourselves with how everyone else looks or how “bad” we look, creates an ugly attitude. It teaches woman nothing but to be bound to how they look, not who they are.

We need to take a close look at what is deep in our thoughts about ourselves and others. When we can start to change our concerns to who we are on the inside, true beauty will radiate from within.

∼live your journey true∼